BIRDS / MUKBANG INSTEAD OF THERAPY
By Jasmine O M Taylor
we're having a moment
like a piece of shit
spinning round and round
flushing does nothing to this
circadian rhythm panic
eyes burn unshed acid
and little demons
want to escape thru
your closed throat
see forearms in the mirror
wishing they were slender
bird-thin
ignoring achieved strength
distaste seeps
and dreams of celebrities
pure exhausted sleep
wake pinched into a knot
last week you were in
a car driven by a distracted
co-worker in slow mo drove over
a squat pigeon
who haunts you
just as it crossed the road
resignedly
flightless
/////
we’re having a moment
smile pulled from you up to
council chambers concrete columns
city pigeons cooing to their babies
under the clock
like those bluebirds in Cinderella
birdmagic pulls a ribbon
drawstring
a sharp scythe despite the time
lunch watch gulls out the window
their lives and language
soft white breast rests with lichen in sun
slick orange skin slides on roof
in the rain
mute communion
eyes only
you watch each other most days
/////
we're having a moment
today your cat
was toying a fledgling
chastised her humanely
sadly took the bird in your hand
death inevitable
your chokeheld gut
planted under the rose with a cup of water
said sorry sorry sorry
streets shining with rocks
riding gummy slow in the dark
walk home gingerly without trauma
dodge snails crisscrossing wet
guzzle Gatorade berry no sugar with white wine
a quiz lost the night before
because of the same gator
why sleep when you can clench teeth and repeat
drink sugar-free Cruisers
like it helps
only your jaw grows stronger
keep throat closed
for if it opens
it might never close again
nosebreathe thru the waves
ribs a cage for your secret
/////
we’re having a breakthrough
slow buzz
eating broadcast
for those with longing
loneliness
preferring to watch
silent
a meditation on capacity
mystery
keep mouth closed
and watch just one; Tzuyang
a warm blackhole for disquiet
hypnic chopstick hand to plate to mouth to bowl
slurping never sounded so beautiful
noodles vanish and somehow
not mouthsound misophony
they sing a song of oxytocin
serotonin hanok villages
onggi to ferment within
chewing 112 pieces of a food she didn't know
existed chicken back ribs
a bird massacre
we can deduce 60 deaths minimum on her table
just as u reach your crest
she takes a bone-cleaning bite
and the crunch and the groan and the eyebrows
release
/////
[coda]
release my lockjaw
the schmaltz lubricates by proxy
death nourishes her belly my soul
chokehold my loneliness
snails cooing
haunt me comfort
leave water with the gulls
let Tzuyang eat my little demons
serotonin pigeons
lock eyes with the fledgling
we’re having a moment
